Self Value and Belonging with Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

It has been claimed that true belonging only happens when we present our authentic and imperfect selves to the world.  Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance. As social creatures, we have a fundamental need to belong and to feel connected to others. Belongingness can come from various sources, such as family, friends, community, or shared interests. Consequently, it is essential to note that true belongingness requires us to be vulnerable and authentic. Hence, to fully belong, we must be willing to be ourselves, accept our imperfections, and establish a deep and genuine connection with others.

Unfortunately, vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, something to be avoided at all costs. However, we must recognize that vulnerability can be a powerful tool for building connections and serving others effectively. When we are open and honest about our limitations and struggles, we show others that we are human and willing to ask for help when needed. In this way, we create a sense of trust and mutual respect with others, which can be essential for effective service. Remember that when we are trusted, we are more likely to be given opportunities to help and serve others.  Consequently, people feel confident when we act in their best interests. Therefore, we must approach service with empathy and compassion to be effective in our efforts to help others.

Dr. Rebecca W. Lauderdale is a speaker, southerner, and physician at Hattiesburg Clinic Comprehensive Care, providing care for patients with complex medical conditions. Dr. Rebecca is a board-certified internist practicing in south Mississippi since 2007 with Hattiesburg Clinic, a 300+ physician multispecialty professional association that is physician owned. She started in hospital medicine, but in 2016 launched a new adventure in the outpatient setting focused on care for medically complex Medicare patients in their ACO. She's also an inspiring podcaster at Belonging in the South: A Guide for Misfits.

In this special episode, Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale will share her personal experience of being an outcast in her line of work and how she took a vulnerable step in sharing herself with the community she wants to fit in. Be encouraged by how she surmounts the struggles and demands of being a physician, which enables her to establish a strong perception of her ability and self-worth.

"There are some places where the only person you can belong to is you. And it is a hard thing sometimes to accept that with a certain group of people because you're just going to belong to yourself." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Introduction + Episode Snippet

(00:00:51) Introducing our special guest, Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale.

(00:01:48) The Lifelong Southerner: Who is Rebecca Lauderdale?

(00:05:28) The contextual rules of the South

(00:06:03) How the Belonging in the South: A Guide for Misfits Podcast was created

(00:09:10) Internalized Misogyny

(00:10:02) Having diverse voices in the room.

(00:10:58) Be comfortable with who you are.

(00:11:30) Belonging vs. Fitting in

(00:12:42) You could belong and fit in at the same time.

(00:13:33) Take a vulnerable step

(00:14:15) Burnout: How does it relate to our profession?

(00:16:20) Shame, Vulnerability, and Belonging

(00:17:00) Medical training discourages vulnerability.

(00:17:54) Identify yourself with like-minded people.

(00:18:30) Quick Reminder: Are you enjoying this episode? Please share it, leave a five-star review, and give feedback. Go to TimeOut with the SportsDr website. 

(00:20:13) The Peril of Being a Preacher's Kid

(00:21:02) How does self-valuation play a role in our self-perception?

(00:22:54) Focus on accepting who you are.

(00:24:11) How does self-awareness enable Rebecca to serve others effectively?

(00:26:32) We need others to tell us things when we don't know ourselves.

(00:27:55) The Work Demand: What causes burnout for physicians?

(00:28:44) How do physicians deal with the grief of a patient's death amid the pandemic?

(00:31:01) Final TimeOut with Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale: How would you advise someone who might be feeling the symptoms of depression in their line of work?

(00:32:10) Take care of yourself, even in small ways.

(00:33:52) Connect with Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale.

Key Takeaways:  

"There's this concept of the South being a high context society that there are contextual rules that you have to follow. And if you haven't grown up with these contextual rules about the certain ways that you have to do things and the certain ways that you have to say things, then you get ostracized." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

"I have become so fascinated with hearing the stories of people who have found that transition between feeling out of place and feeling separate and letting that define them. And then transition into being willing to be who you are regardless of what the people around you think, which then leads to a sense of belonging that you didn't expect." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

"Many times people can't identify with the minority because they can't relate to that." – Dr. Derrick Burgess

"Being in positions where I was the only woman in the room and realizing how that worked against me in ways, even when I didn't want to, I had an internalized misogyny." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

"The dynamic range is narrow and small, and it's not working for everybody. And it's not because there's necessarily anybody that's purposefully acting against people who are different from them." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

"I always try to remember that somebody in the room may feel the same way that I am. And I want to see how we can work together to amplify our voices." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

"There's a lot of ways that we can fit in and be willing to share who we are within safe places. It just benefits all of us." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

"If you can be comfortable with who you are, the world needs you in the state that you are. They need you as a unique individual, not you trying to fit in." – Dr. Derrick Burgess

"You could belong and fit in at the same time, but in a lot of situations, we choose to fit in because we don't belong." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

"If you don't ever take the step to share who you truly are with somebody and take a vulnerable step, then you won't belong anywhere, and you will feel lonely." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

"Burnout happens because we don't have resources. When we have too much work to do and too little time and not enough appreciation and connection with the people we work with." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

"There are a whole lot of social norms and cultural aspects to medicine and medical training that don't allow us to be vulnerable." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

"No matter what you're doing, somebody else is probably experiencing something similar to what you're going through. And it's important to try to identify that community or that tribe to grow together." – Dr. Derrick Burgess

"I didn't know how to be a good friend until I was 40." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

"You can only love other people as much as you can love yourself." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

"If we're happy in our skin, we're not judging anybody else's. But if we're unhappy in our skin, we tend to judge other people for the same things that we feel ashamed about and feel that we fall short in." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

"We need other people to tell us when we can't tell ourselves." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

"If you're slowly draining your tank and you don't recuperate physically, mentally, spiritually regularly, then you can't give that back to your patients, you just can't." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

"You're not a bad person. You're also not a quitter if you decide that you've got to do something differently." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

"Talk to somebody who is an unbiased party who you can just say all this stuff too, that may be a therapist, pastor, or a close friend, somebody who's just gonna listen to you because sometimes getting it out and saying it helps clarify some things." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

"Sometimes places are not gonna change for you, and getting out it's the only thing you can do, but sometimes you can change things from the inside." – Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale

Connect with Dr. Rebecca Lauderdale:

Website: https://www.belonginginthesouth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.lauderdale/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lauderdale/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.lauderdale

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebecca-lauderdale-md-facp-65771393/

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4gzINV5jkDIKCVLqRxGECS?si=48e689af9d37455b

Connect with Dr. Derrick Burgess:

Website: https://www.drderrickthesportsdr.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drderrickthesportsdr/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TimeOut.SportsDr

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/derrick-burgess-72047b246/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHGDu1zT4K_X6PnYELu8weg

Email: thesportsdoctr@gmail.com

This episode of TimeOut with the SportsDr. is produced by Podcast VAs Philippines - the team that helps podcasters effectively launch and manage their podcasts, so we don't have to. Record, share, and repeat! Podcast VAs PH gives me back my time, so I can focus on the core functions of my business. Need expert help with your podcast? Go to www.podcastvasph.com.